*===+++===*  Headline News  *===+++===*

                      Kildare Castle Allied

Few knew the story behind the death of King Seamus McLarkin of many years ago. All that was known was that upon his last returned from political endeavors of his throne in Kildare, he had gone totally mad. That night he tried to burn himself and the Queen in their chambers. A Phoenix had rescued the queen from the flames but Seamus McLarkin was not so lucky. His suicidal death and attempted murder weighed heavily on his sons as they reached manhood. They had also been led astray and set against each other by a woman while in their teens.

It was this very same woman who had caused the death of their father they discovered. Their quest that took over seven years to accomplish brought to light the real story behind their father going insane. The woman had put him under a spell much like his first knight later on in her continued attempts to take over Kildare and all its lands. A very power hungry witch. Sir Liath Wolfe has been reinstated as First Knight under King Leoric McLarkin, his brother Gaidan becoming Regent of Kildare. Gerrard MacShire, cousin and friend also risked his life helping them recover their heritage and even more importantly, the honor of their name. He was knighted for his efforts. The formal ceremonies were conducted after all matters were settled. Captain JD Black will be rewarded with a new ship for her help, which is being commissioned to be built by the shipwrights of Heathfield along with port rights for trading.

Once inventory is taken and the people that survived the years and this last battle, necessities and help will be extended to get the castle and lands back on their feet under their new King. The McLarkin twins' quest to find the truth also gave them a kingdom to rule with a fair hand. Details are recorded in the library if one wishes to read further.

Valentine's Event in Solurius

The castle of the Moors was the setting for a wonderful enchanting evening for most. There were one or two that got caught up in the intricate webs of too many choices of which man they really wanted or more maybe just the need for a lot of attention and then found none in the long run of it. A midsummer's Night Dream or Nightmare for some, possibly a mad-hatters ball if one wasn't careful. On the most part, luckily near all, it was a relaxing time to socialize, eat, drink and dance the night away. Representing our kingdoms was the attendance of Prince Andrew MacNeil escorting the lovely lady Noir Morgane. It is possible it was her first formal affair.

The Crown Prince was attired in the MacNeil kilt and tartan. The Master Sword at his side was secured with a peace knot. The Lady Noir wore a gown of a sapphire satin, the underskirt and bodice decorated with a subdued stripe of black. The sleeves stopped at the elbow and were decorated with black lace that belled to the wrist. The overskirt was gathered with three rosettes of gold, to show off the underskirt.  Above the low square neckline, she wore a dolphin necklace.  Earrings of sapphires dangled beneath her dark hair.

```*+*```*+*```*+*``````*+*```*+*```*+*```      Queens Tea    ```*+*```*+*```*+*``````*+*```*+*```*+*```

The Queen's Tea was held in the Kingdome of Telarus this month. The Queens learned the skill of cards in a game of twenty one. King Alec might never take up the profession of card dealer after the experience of being defeated a few times over by the Queens. Although the real name of the game was 'fun' and everyone had met that requirement that kept it such. Laughter filled the room more often than not throughout the evening. The alteration in this standard game was that instead of the Ace being worth one or eleven, it was the Queen card given this honor. The top winners were Queen Julia Noir and Queen Honeee von Rundstedt coin wise but this night everyone was a winner and all got to share in picking out some very exquisite gifts offered. Once again the hospitality of Telarus was exhibited in all its finery.

Congratulations are extended to their Majesties Julia and Alekkandrios Noir on the birth of their son - Christian Alekkandrios Noir. Born on the eve of the New Moon, February 27th. Mother, Father and Baby are doing wonderful.

       To look into the heart of a young girl, on the crest of womanhood, is a gift in itself.  And when that young lady is of our own lands, it makes the brew only sweeter.  Sarah McDonough.  The daughter of a most prominent man in the lands and ever holding her own.  Back straight and pink on her cheeks.  When I was gifted with that chance to speak with her, my youth seemed moments away and light shined in my eyes.

         "I grew up in a loving home. So for a long time I was unaware that things aren't always so good beyond our own lands.  For most of my life, I've been surrounded by males, father, brother, uncle and I love every one of them!  My Aunt Juni is an inspiration and so is Velvet MacShire.  My father though, is where my true strength lies.  He's been both father and mother to me and I don't think anyone could have done a finer job.  Even when I went off to boarding school, he stayed very much a part of my life and I know he would have whisked me back had I been unhappy."

         It seemed more a child's fairy tale of life than one that could truly be.  But, with a sugar coated heart, Sarah McDonough could manage the honey lifestyle in her own eyes.  To each their own.  Was boarding school as delightful? "Boarding school was as much an eye-opener as a learning experience. I met girls from all walks of life.  Some were unbearable snobs with an inflated opinion of themselves. Others were just wonderful.  I have to admit I was a leader in playing pranks on those girls who thought they were better than everyone else.  My best friends included a princess, a duchess, daughter of a middle class merchant and a beautiful young girl who had been given a chance to come to school by an unknown benefactor.  Her family was poor but she was clever and it was just wonderful to know she had been given that opportunity.  We took her under our wing because she was one of the younger students and also because she was picked on by some of the others.  We all write to one another and I hope they come visit me this summer."

         Now, with boarding school behind her, the young woman had her life to look on to.  The choices and horizon unlimited and left to only her own desires.  Would she rush to find and fulfill them, or taste all the fruit before settling?  "Right now I keep busy by working mornings for my Uncle Joseph. He opened a Private Investigation office.  I also have my own visiting program for some of the elderly in the realms. They appreciate anything done for them and they have the most wonderful stories of the old days.

       My plans for the future aren't real clear yet but I have time. I do want to see some of the exotic lands I've read about.  I'm planning on visiting Japan first, or maybe the lands in the middle east. I would love to see some of the more exotic places of the world. Marriage? Well, I guess I'll have to see what the future brings but right now, I'm not ruling anything out."

         Be it the far East or here in her own backyard, Sarah McDonough would bloom into a flower that all could smile upon.  Pure of heart, full of love, and eager to wrap adoring arms around the world.  A butterfly whose wings reach far and wide.

Life Around Here

The teens' snowball fights continue with few casualties. With spring hopefully around the corner, they'll have to find another means of combat.  Of course tobogganing and ice skating have been other ways they've been exerting all that extra energy before the work of spring begins.  With the unseasonably warm weather, some inhabitants are preparing for spring by planning out their gardens.  A few farmers are preparing their fields for the earlier spring crops while others are preparing for the births of additions to their flocks and herds. Keep a check of the Calendar located in all the local taverns and shops for upcoming events. Due to the weather being so warm a few events have been delayed. There is a forecast of a winter storm coming soon that might give the edge to run a few functions.

Births: None this month. Marriages: Aedan McAhearne to Antoinette Cairns. Engagements: None this month

Monthly Horoscope

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

The energy of anticipation must be palpable, and when something as huge as a whole world looms just around the corner, it can be both exciting and frightening. Change is one of the most fearsome prospects among people on the planet. Yet change of a type you have not experienced in a long time is close upon you. A long phase of your life is drawing to a close, and a new one will arise like the New Jerusalem. The door to the past will latch but not lock, and you will spend much of the year in slowly alternating phases on either side of the threshold, which is a threshold of identity. You will change, and the whole world will change in relationship to you. Notice the life you are living now. Notice what you think you want to recreate or leave behind. Make a time capsule, take some pictures, describe your current existence in emails to your intimates. Open it in one year. 

-- submitted by Sassy Golden  (Planet Waves)

Job Finder:  Butcher needed, contact Draven MacShire.  Dentist needed, contact Malcolm Douglas. Sign Maker needed, contact Malcolm Douglas. Teacher Aids still needed, contact Malcolm Douglas for an interview. Music Store Proprietor wanted, contact Draven MacShire. Firemen needed along with a Veterinarian wanted to take over business, willing to make house calls. Contact Draven MacShire for either.

Spring is nearly here as the various ranches are looking for hired hands needed for the season. Fair wages, good working conditions, guaranteed work if qualified. Need to be healthy, strong, sixteen or older and without excessive vices. Food and shelter provided. Apply at Ravanna Farmlands - Draven MacShire, McCormick Sheep Ranch - Ian McCormick, McDonough Cattle Ranch - Maurice or Joe McDonough and for those looking for ship work, contact Bovee Shipping - Andre Bovee or Pierre Lafayette, Dunshire Mercantile Enterprises - Rhett Shawnesey, Shipwrights - Collin McAndrews or Thomas Douglas.

Thanks to the Job Finder: The Private Investigators hired on Clark Davis. Congratulations.

Where To Find It - Services Offered

Want to better your business?    Place a listing here!

OTHER LIFE FORMS

BOGGART -- Abuse of a brownie, either through neglect of chores, failure to leave out food, or deliberate insult, will turn it into a boggart.

Also known as bogans or bogies, boggarts delight in tormenting those they once protected and will cause milk to sour, doors to slam, dogs to go lame and other mischief.

Boggarts particularly like to steal food and to hide household items like keys and socks. More common than brownies, boggarts reside in many houses and workplaces. This may be the result of decades of improper treatment of brownies, which were once far more prevalent.

As loyal as brownies, boggarts are almost impossible to get rid of. Many families have fled a house tormented by a boggart only to find the boggart feeling with them.

Boggarts are sometimes confused with poltergeists because both terrorize households. And as both generally remain unseen, it can be hard to tell the difference. Listen carefully after something goes awry; if muffled laughter is heard, a boggart is likely the culprit.  -- from Arthur Spiderwick's Field Guide

I am seventeen and have a crush on an older man.  I don't think that should make a difference.  What do you think? ~ Young and Confused.

Dear Young and Confused,

When you are young, you feel as if you're ready to live the life of an adult. It's not uncommon for young women to be drawn to the mature nature of an older man. In your mind, it shouldn't make a difference, but you must also take into consideration, the thoughts of the one whom you hold the crush on. 

They may feel patronizing towards you, not attracted in the way you'd like. All young people are enamored at some point and time in their life with someone they may look up to. I think you should keep your emotions in check, and let time pass to see if what you're feeling is nothing more than a passing fancy, or something true. Most importantly, that if what you are feeling is that which is felt by the other. Emotions are confusing, and at a young age sometimes it's hard to understand. Don't rush!

What's the difference between being curious and being down right nosey?  Between blunt and rude?  Should people who say things without thinking be put in their place? ~ Inquisitive

Dear Inquisitive,

Being curious is when someone sees or learns something they've never been exposed to before, and wish to become more knowledgeable about it. Being nosey, is when one is forcing their way into a situation or someone's life, where they're not welcomed. Be it to gain information, or butting into a situation in someone's life that's none of their business.

Blunt is when someone speaks their mind, irregardless if what they have to say is hurtful or not. It's how they feel or what they believe, and they fear not being forward and honest with vocalizing this. Being rude, is when someone enacts, or speaks with the intent of hurting another's feelings without thought, or causing them to feel uncomfortable.

As far as putting someone in their place for saying things without thinking, it depends on what's said, and how. If it's said by one who speaks out due to their belief, or feelings, then you must respect that. If it's said by one who says things to be hurtful, then by all means, put them in their place, but with tact. If you're rude in return, or hurtful, you're no better than the one you confront. You lower yourself to their standards and practices. In that case, you have no right to complain, for you're no better than they are.

Dear Tae...

If one is attracted to a member of the opposite sex and they have made it known they have no interest, is it wrong to continue to continue the chase? ~ Runner

Dear Runner,

What purpose is there to continue chasing them, if they have made it known there is no interest? This can be considered harassment, and the one whom you chase after may see it as a threat. If they are not willing to return what you want, then you need to move on with your life, for it will never be. If you continue to pursue after them, you may very well find you've made yourself an enemy, rather than a potential friend. You will be labeled as nuisance, and avoided at all costs. The worse part, you'll gain a reputation in which others will avoid you when possible, for fear that you may target them next. In the end, you'll be a very lonely and miserable individual.

Dear Tae...

Why is it that women say they are attracted to one because of their attributes, then, once they have the object of their desire, immediately begin to try and change them? ~ Wishing Understanding

Dear Wishing Understanding,

Many claim that what attracts them is what they seek, when in truth, what attracts them is the challenge of someone who's opposite themselves. They will play a game in which to ensnare an individual,  but once caught, then the woman's true colors will be shown brightly. What they want is someone they can mould into the individual that fits their idealisms as perfect, which is an unachievable dream. All they will find in the end, is discontent, and perhaps even loosing the object of their desire. These are women who want full control over all they own, yes, own. If a woman tries to change a man she's captured the eye of, she considers this man an object that's now her personal possession. She sees him not as an individual who completes her, nor a partner in life in which things are shared. Men are just as guilty of this action. It's a sad existence, and unfortunately quite common place for both genders. I only hope and pray you are not the victim of one with this way of thinking. If so, my advice to you, put your foot down and let them know that you'll not change and they're to accept it. If they don't, then you should end the situation immediately, before you become as bitter as they are, or lose sight of your true self.

St Patrick's Day

May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks,
May your heart be as light as a song,
May each day bring you bright, happy hours,
That stay with you all the year long.

May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

--submitted by Sarah McDonough

```*+*```*+*```*+*``````*+*```*+*```*+*``````*+*```*+*```*+*``````*+*```*+*```*+*```

St Patrick's Story (c. 385-c.461 A.D.)

Patrick was the son of Calpurnius who was a prominent official in a town called Bannavan Taburniae (somewhere in an area from the Firth of Clyde to the Severn estuary) in Britain. His father was also a deacon and the son of Potitus who was a priest. We know very little about Patrick's childhood. But according to Edmund Grace S.J. ("The Story of St Patrick" Irish Messenger Publication 1988), there is one reference to an incident that happened to him when he was fourteen. Patrick does not tell us what happened but it happened within the space of an hour and it weighed heavily on his conscience in later years. "The impression we get of Patrick during those early years is of a lively but easy going youth with perhaps a single, carefully-guarded secret" (Edmund Grace).

Patrick was abducted from England at the age of sixteen and brought as a slave to Ireland. It is said that as a boy he prayed one hundred times a day and as much at night as well. It is obvious from his writings that he had a profound relationship with God. He had a very deep awareness of the presence of God in his life even in the midst of tragedy. In a sense God was his only friend as he sat alone on a mountain top, far from his homeland. The picture below shows Patrick minding the sheep as a youth on the Antrim Hillsides.

The above shows St Patrick returning back to Ireland as a Bishop. After he escaped from Ireland (after six years there), he later felt called to be a priest and was subsequently consecrated Bishop and settled in France. It is said that he had a dream in which he saw and heard the people of Ireland calling him back to help them. He returned at the age of sixty but initially he did not get a good welcome. In fact as he tried to land at Wicklow, the people threw stones and he had to go further up the East Coast.

Soon St Patrick began to influence the people and they were drawn to him. It is said that he used the Shamrock to teach about the Trinity. Three persons yet one God. He started in Ulster and despite much opposition from the Druids (Priests of the Druid religion) and from the King, many were brought to the Christian faith. Patrick died at Saul on Strongford Lough where he had built his first church.

The feast of St Patrick is celebrated on the 17 March each year and St Patrick is the Patron Saint of Ireland. To learn more about St Patrick read his "Confessions" which has been republished many times. --submitted by Seamus McAndrews (Story Source)

RECIPES of the MONTH

STUFFED-POTATO SOUP

4 slices bacon, chopped * 2 medium leeks, halved & sliced * 1 lb. red bliss potatoes, diced * 1 chicken bouillon cube * 1 cup shredded sharp Cheddar cheese

In saucepot over medium heat, cook bacon until crisp; removed bacon and drain. Discard all drippings except for 1 Tbs.  Cook leeks 4 min., stirring occasionally.  Add potatoes, bouillon cube, half bacon and 3 cups water. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and cover.  Simmer 15 min. Stir in cheese; let 2 min. Top with remaining bacon. Garnish with cheese and scallions if desired.     - from Adara Giles

```*+*```*+*```*+*```

COLCANNON

4 slices bacon * 1 small green cabbage * 1 leek cleaned and chopped * 3 lbs potatoes, peeled and cubed * 3/4 C. buttermilk

In large skillet over medium heat, cook bacon 4 mins. turning once; drain.  Let cool; chop.  Remove all but 1 Tbs. drippings.  Add cabbage and leeks to skillet. Cook six minutes. In a saucepot over high heat, bring potatoes and salted water to a boil.  Cook 20 mins; drain.  In a saucepan over medium heat, warm buttermilk 1 min. In a bowl, using a hand masher or potato ricer, mash together potatoes and buttermilk; stir in 3/4 cup cabbage mixture. Garnish with remaining cabbage and bacon.                             - from Hannah Kearney

TASTY BRISKET

1 brisket, trimmed * 2 med. onions, peeled and sliced * 1 bottle (12 oz.) dark beer (like Guinness Extra Stout) * 1 bottle (12 oz.) chili sauce * 2 Tbs. cornstarch

Heat oven to 350. Season with salt and pepper if desired. Place brisket in Dutch oven.  In bowl combine next three ingredients, pour over brisket. Bake 2 hours; or until thermometer inserted in the meat reads 18o. Transfer to cutting board, let sit 10 min.  Meanwhile skim fat from drippings. Bring mixture to a boil; cook one minute more, stirring constantly. Serve gravy over brisket.     - from Hannah Kearney

SODA BREAD

(Makes 1 large or 2 small loaves)

4 cups (1.25 lbs. plain flour sieved) * 1/2 teaspoon bread soda * 15 fl oz (1/2 to 3/4 pt buttermilk) or sour milk * 1/2 teaspoon salt * 1 egg  * Small drop of fresh milk * 1 rounded teaspoon Bextartar (raising agent) * l oz. sugar

Heat the pot/oven and grease with a little lard. Mix all the dry ingredients in a basin and make a well in the center. Pour in nearly all the milk and egg; gather in the flour and mix to a loose dough, adding more milk if necessary. With floured hands, knead lightly on a floured board or table and flatten out. Cut a cross on top. Place dough in pot/oven; cover with heated lid. Place hot coals on top to give all round heat. (Alternatively bake in a greased round pyrex dish with lid, pre-heat oven (4250F) for 40 minutes). To keep the bread soft, wrap in a clean damp tea towel when it is taken out of the oven.

Variations:

Sultana Cake: Half-cup of sultanas are added to the dry ingredients.

Treacle Soda Bread: Make as above, but 2 tablespoons of black treacle (molasses) is heated with the milk and 1 tablespoon of sugar is added to the dry ingredients.

Brown: Make as above but use 1 lb. (4 cups) whole- wheat flour and 2 cups (0.5 lb). plain white flour. A little more milk is used to mix the dough.

Apple Cake: Place half the dough in pot/oven; add sliced cooked apple and sweeten with sugar. Cover with remaining dough. Press edges together; cover and bake in the same way.

The three-legged iron pot is the origin of the term to make "Pot luck" In country districts it is used for roasting, stewing and for making cakes and bread. In Counties Limerick and Cork it is also called a Bastable oven, and the bread made in it a "Bastable Cake". Glowing turf (peat) sods are put on top when baking or roasting is being done to ensure even heat. The pot can be raised or lowered by a chain, and three short feet enable it to stand at the side of the hearth.   - from Hannah Kearney

Days of the Week

According to Hydn's Dictionary of Dates, the names of the days of the week are derived from the Saxon names for the gods, which correspond to Roman deities: Sunday, Sun's Day, Dies Solis (Day of the Sun); Monday, Moon's Day, Dies Lunae (Day of the Moon); Tuesday, Tiw's Day, Dies Martis (Day of Mars); Wednesday, Woden's Day, Dies Mercurii (Day of Mercury); Thursday, Thor's Day, Dies Jovis (Day of Jupiter); Friday, Friga's Day, Dies Veneris (Day of Venus); Saturday, Saterne's Day, Dies Saturni (Day of Saturn).

1st Quarter: begins when the Sun and Moon are conjunct, just after the New Moon. 2nd Quarter: begins halfway between the New Moon and Full Moon. The Sun and Moon are at 90 degrees or squaring each other. 3rd Quarter: begins with the Full Moon when the Sun and Moon are in opposition. 4th Quarter: begins halfway between the Full Moon and New Moon when the Sun and Moon are again squaring each other.

The selection of an auspicious time for starting any affair is an important matter. The ancients paid special attention to determining a favorable time for the erection of important edifices and many of these structures are still standing today as a constant source of wonder and admiration. When a thing is once commenced, its existence tends to be of a nature corresponding to the conditions under which it begun. Not only should you select the appropriate date but when  possible you should also start the affair under an appropriate Planetary Hour.

Each hour of the day is ruled by a planet and so the nature of any time during the day corresponds to the nature of the planet ruling it. Not only can you start important matters according to the appropriate planetary hour but you can judge the nature of a matter (say, a letter you receive) from the planetary hour in which you are first aware of it or when it is first brought into contact with you. The nature of planetary hours is the same as the description of each of he planets, except that you will not need to refer to the descriptions for Uranus, Neptune and Plato as they are considered here as higher octaves of Mercury, Venus and Mars respectively. If something is ruled by Uranus you can use the hour of Mercury.

The only other factor you need to know to use the Planetary Hours is the time of your local Sunrise and Sunset for any given day. This is given in charts made up for each year. Having determined the times of Sunrise and Sunset, you merely divide the daylight hours and then the nighttime hours into 12 equal parts. They will only once in a while turn out to be periods of 60 minutes in length, for during our summertime there is more daylight than night, and during the winter, more night than day. Having charted the times when each of these 12 night periods and 12 day periods occurs, refer to the table and ascribe to each such period the planetary rulership is in the order listed.   (One source of:  Planetary Hours)

-- submitted by Kathleen Cleary Frasier  (Taken from the Magickal Almanac)

Gossip from the Wharf
"If you believe these - I have lands in Rhydin to sell you"
by The Wharf Crones - Matty and Pearl

All gossip that comes in through the port, and places least expected,  you can be sure that Matty and Pearl know every little tidbit and then some added. Embellishing is a way of life to make the tale far more colorful. If something is not certain nor clear, it is easy to fill in those gaps; there is nothing like assuming. They will make sure all gossip gets around come rain or shine and the sharing of a tea biscuit. There is a place for Drama Queens.

**Did anyone else hear the nightingales or was it only us? Two singing in the night like lovie dovie birds. If it wasn't for me arthritis setting in, I would have gotten there before they flew the coop. We plan to flush them out and get their names next time! Watch out little birdies the Crones will be crooning with ye next!

**A new game has arrived called Catch the Imp or Ride the Witch's Broom as one King was found tossing around a certain lightweight Princess for her Impish ways and she retaliated. Or did the Imp really wish to compare swords with her Calling the Sirs Out to battle in a banshee's rendering?. Threats of nimble fingers braiding men's hair until worn off was heard declared as capital punishment along with locking her up in a tower. Fairy Princess in Fairy tales and would the Pumpkin Eater end up with the dessert? We want a share!

**The lights in the Private Investigator's Offices have been noticed burning late (Crones never sleep) and lend to visions of heated endeavors of passion far beyond the who done it but who is doing it! Maybe this is why a third has been added to make a wheel and thwart those late night rendezvous. We have seats hidden behind the bushes in the back for our late night snacking while watching.

**Although more tactful means are needed (throat clearing cough) we can manage right into the Castle itself. Nothing is that sacred! Burt is a man I'd like to catch in an alleyway some night except he was not the draw this time but to find out what the other Imp of a Princess has been up to. We catch the flipside one more often than the other. It was worth the jab of a wooden sword into my padded hip for following the governess of the Impids discreetly and being caught by one far too aware. It halted my progress by not my ears. The Innis Lord was in the room for the laugher that rolled down the halls a few minutes later once they were inside making it easy to discover. So, the Innis King and Prince are after twin Imps? It will give a whole new meaning to allies! Pearl will want to know.

**Drooling bibs are being given out as needed in every tavern and shop around for word has gotten out the McAndrews men are emerging after their winter hibernation and on the prowl.  Anyone wanting a well made net, contact yours truly either Matty or Pearl. We should have determined by then which of them are still single and available. We would mark them with an X if we could get away with it and right where it would draw the eye.

**Speaking of on the prowl, the teens haven't been seen around for a while. Maybe melodies in the night has them turned into night owls taken to flight. Love ...  here today and gone tomorrow? Are some in hiding for young love and hearts change from day to day. Two brothers have been seen paling up again and heading North for mischief. It can only have us surmise someone left someone. Will there be a reconciliation or new romances around the corner? Spring is here, goes hand in hand with young men sniffing around. We'll add collar and leashes with the bibs!

**Which brings us back to the castle as it gives me a chance to soak in the vision of Burt working the bar again. One of those very brothers has been moonlighting here. Does the older one know  his drinking and wenching partner is moving out on his own? Here we find where he has another of the teens locked away behind closed doors when no one knows. Well.. WE know and WE'RE telling! Hear the bleat of the sheep when this rumor flies home.

**Lists and maps, everybody's got one these days but most are counterfeit and we have the original one of eligible males. The drool marks prove it. It will be going up for auction if it is not claimed by its rightful owner. We secretly want to know who done it! Maybe we can lure the third wheel to roll our way. It's been years for both me and Pearl, we can promise a night to remember.

**There has always been the expression - like flies to dung and we can wonder with the way a certain King's man attracts the opposite gender when he would rather repel. Gnats and flies do get annoying buzzing in a constant irritation. Perhaps with these particular flies we might do the King's man a favor by dipping him in what is suppose to attracted them literally. See if it works as a scientific endeavor. Do we have any volunteers brave or crazy enough to help us out on this? Maybe we'll miss and the thick brown dung will plop a ding dong. It wont be a wedding bell sound!

**Getting back to the maps, it seems a certain kings man has found himself an old one. Map that is, Pearl just had palpitations with the possible. Strange markings and cryptic notations that left our heads buzzing when we got a peek. Triple decker too and we wonder what the blond curly haired one is up to or more ... with who. Are they just lovers notes to lure him away and did someone mention Kelpies? Are they anything like anchovies? If they are we want a few dozen to add to our crumpets. Last that we heard was that the Fly Catcher sent off the Map Keeper to Luneberg. Was it to eliminate the competition so he could have all the flies to himself? Is it too late to get in the swarm for I can warm a lap or two at once well! I think the Lap Warmer and the Fly Catcher can hit it off well while Pearly White can chase the Map Keeper all the way to Luneberg. New territory to dig her heels into.

**Getting steamy under the corset brings to mind the find of one Pirate Lord stalking a certain lady to the hot springs. Will things get heated? Will he too dig out his maps and sail off into the horizon dragging the submergible that tried to get away? We're keeping an eye on Ole Swagger Pants. Some use a watch to hypnotize but I could be lured into his world any day! Who all will be going? We want to know and how much a ticket would cost.

**With all our ideas and ideals, our surmising and embellishing we will still come to wonder when one disappears as being swallowed up by a mountain itself. One particular teen lass has not been seen since after the Holidays. Is she holding up in an isolated cabin to find the Self or does she have some hot lover under bolt and key? Wait, there is another woman that was brought up there by her Kin that has not been seen since .. maybe .. wheels are turning .. someone ought to spank their hides and preferably a male!

WANTED

Captain "Blood Bath" Black ... Dead or alive.

Crimes: High treason against England and Spain, Murder, Plundering and pillaging innocents, Thievery, Arson, Kidnapping, and Rape.  500 Gold for any who brings this scoundrel to justice.

500 Gold for Information Leading to the Murderer of Nancy Forsythe

The young woman in her early twenties, average height, brown hair and blue eyes, has been found murdered. Anyone having information that will lead us to the apprehension of the one responsible will receive the gold. Contact the Private Investigators Office.