Covering Heathfield, Ballicastle, Tyremoor, Innis Daingneach, Kildare, Ashfort, surrounding areas and Allies.     Issue 04-08

```*++*```  Headline News  ```*++*```

```*+*``` April Fools Day ```*+*```

The origins of this custom are complex and a matter of much debate. It is likely a relic of the once common festivities held on the vernal equinox, which began on the 25th of March, old New Year's Day and ended on the 2nd of April. Though the 1st of April appears to have been observed as a general festival in Great Britian in antiquity, it was apparently not until the beginning of the 18th century that the making of April-fools was a common custom. In Scotland the custom was known as "hunting the gowk," i.e. the cuckoo and April-fools were "April-gowks," the cuckoo being a term of contempt, as it is in many countries. One of the earliest connections of the day with fools is Chaucer's story the Nun's Priest's Tale (c.1400), which concerns two fools and takes place "thritty dayes and two" from the beginning of March, which is April 1. The significance of this is difficult to determine.

Europe may have derived its April-fooling from the French. French and Dutch references from 1508 and 1539 respectively describe April Fools' Day jokes and the custom of making them on the first of April. France was one of the first nations to make January 1 officially New Year's Day (which was already celebrated by many), by decree of Charles IX. This was in 1564, even before the 1582 adoption of the Gregorian calendar. Thus the New Year's gifts and visits of felicitation which had been the feature of the 1st of April became associated with the first day of January, and those who disliked or did not hear about the change were fair game for those wits who amused themselves by sending mock presents and paying calls of pretended ceremony on the 1st of April. In France the person fooled is known as poisson d'avril (April fish). This has been explained as arising from the fact that in April the sun quits the zodiacal sign of the fish. The French traditionally celebrated this holiday by placing dead fish on the backs of friends. Today, real fish have been replaced with sticky, fish-shaped paper cut-outs that children try to sneak onto the back of their friends' shirts. Candy shops and bakeries also offer fish-shaped sweets for the holiday. (Taken from: April Fools' Day - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) --submitted by Lah Barrett Suex

```*+*``` Allied and Friends Events ```*+*```

Dragon Run Toboggan Race: It was a cold snowy night, perfect for an event before winter was over, held in our lands at the Crystal Gold Lake. Many came in spite of the cold to try for the 1,000 gold. The run was a challenge, although five nearly made it to that last part, none made it through the dragon's head without incident. The bumpy scales did a few in but that last incline had a few spinning off the run or caught up in the dragon's mouth and icicle teeth. There was a quick run to determine who took second and third prize, deciding to give a consolation prize to the other three that had done so well. When all was said and done, Rennie Savage took second, Cait MacKenna in third and consolation prizes for Lady Silvereagle, Athalia Doe and Deirdre Callihan. We hope all our allies that participated had a good time as certainly those from our own lands had. --submitted by Rhett Shawnesey

St Patrick's Night: In celebration of the death of Ireland's renowned St. Patrick, the Kingdom of Telarus hosted a Tavern Night on Monday, March 17 in the Kilt and Goblin Tavern. Open to any who wanted to join in on an evening of green drinks and food, good company and of course, various contests! Amongst those attending the evening were Sirs Calhoun and Aiden, who accompanied two of Princess Elaina's ladies for the evening, Lady Cara and Lady Emily. They were joined by others of Telarus, Stone Cross and Devonshires and Scotland. Throughout the evening, Queen Julia awarded 100 coins to anyone wearing green and posed questions about St. Patrick, awarding coins for the correct answer and at one point, held an Irish brogue contest. Heathfield was well represented here, as Sir Calhoun, Lady Emily and Lady Cara all joined in and were awarded 300 coins and a green top hat a piece, but the true victor of the evening was Lady Emily, who vanquished all comers as the only female in a drinking contest of the infamous Julia Juice to win 500 coins! A delightful time was had by all, and thanks go to Telarus for a fine commemoration of St. Patrick.  --submitted by Cara A Thompson

Faolan's Spring Market: To market to market to buy a fat pig, or in this case a few horses. Joseph McDonough accompanied Cordelia Sandrine, Draven MacShire accompanied Tara Shawnesey, Cara Thompson came with Emily Stewart as well as Morgan went to the market. Two horses were bought, Draven's as a gift to his fiancée and one Joe purchased to hopefully enter through the two stables planned to join the Colition. Something to look forward to. The gracious Queen Julia Noir also sent two thoroughbreds from her quality stock as a gift for these stables once established. Those from Telarus and Devonshires/Stone Crossing also attended. Besides horses to buy there were also sweets and meats amongst other shops that were taken advantage. A good place to spend earned coins. --submitted by Joseph McDonough

Birds of Paradis Ball: On the evening of March 30th, a ball was held. Called the Birds of Paradise Masque and Ball, it was an Avian theme and was hosted by the Marchioness of Hawkstone and the Kingdom of Telarus at the Hawkstone Ballroom.   Heathfield was represented by Lord Joseph McDonough with his courted Lady Cordelia Sandrine of Telarus as well as Alannah, Regan and Deirdre Callihan, Sir Aiden Collins, Sir Gabriel Vaughn, Sir Cole Lachian,  Morgan Murray, Corwin Garrow, and Jessamine Saxton.  The costumes were colorful, clever and lovely. A wonderful time was had by all and new friends were made.  Congratulations to Sir Gabriel for placing second for his costume as an Owl and Corin Garrow in third place as a pheasant. --submitted by Regan Callihan

```*+*```+```*+*```   Featured Articles ```*+*```+```*+*```

Healer's Touch
by Samantha Golden

Buchu - is the Southern Africa's contribution to herbal healing. The leaves of this 5-foot shrub contain an oil that increases urine production. The native peoples of what is now Namibia and South Africa used buchu for urinary problems long before they had any contact with Europeans. In the 17th century it was adopted for urinary tract infections, kidney stones, arthritis, cholera and muscle sores. Later, English settlers adopted buchu and used the herb to treat many illnesses that medical botanists now claim it has been used for almost every disease which afflicts mankind.

Healing with Buchu:

Premenstrual Syndrome - Many women complain of 'bloating' from water retention before their periods. Buchu is an ingredient in two over-the-counter diuretics (Fluidex and Odrinil) marketed to relieve the bloating of premenstrual syndrome (PMS).

High Blood Pressure and Congestive Heart Failure - Physicians prescribe diuretics to treat high blood pressure and congestive heart failure. These are serious conditions requiring professional care. Consult your physician about including buchu as part of your treatment plan.

Urinary Tract Infection - Most modern herbals continue to recommend buchu for urinary tract infections. One study of its effects on the bacteria that can cause these infections showed no benefit, but herbal experts continue to stand behind it as an infection fighter.

Safety Factor: - Diuretics deplete body stores of potassium, an important nutrient. Anyone taking buchu should increase consumption of foods high in potassium, such as bananas and fresh vegetables. Pregnant women should not take diuretics without a physician's approval. Otherwise buchu is considered safe in amounts typically recommended and no harmful side effects have been reported.   --Taken from The Healing Herbs by Michael Castleman

Life Around Here

As Thomas Tusser spoke himself, April showers do bring May flowers, and after a long winter, everyone is eagerly awaiting the splashes of brilliant color and sweet aromas that will surely arrive within weeks as trees and plants produce their flowering buds as a way to greet the warmer weather. Likewise, children are spending more afternoons out of doors to soak up the sun's light, and with each passing week, more clothing will be shed and left in trunks for next winter. Toboggans will eventually be put away and hoops with sticks will take the place of winter activities. Perhaps we've seen the last of snowball fights, as well. Once more, it is safe to walk the streets.

And how can any person not adore the baby animals that begin to emerge? Lambs, calves, kittens and puppies, chicklets, kids... Nature certainly knows how to draw the cuteness out of its shell. Thank you, God, for the simple pleasures in life that will never cease to be.   --submitted by Cassie Saxton

Births: None this month. Marriages: None this month. Engagements: None this Month. Deaths: None this Month. Citizenship: None this Month

by Athalia Doe Edan

Acting and Stage Superstitions: When rehearsing a play, the actors ensure that they are perfect in every line except the last one, or tag, as it is called. This is never uttered until the first night of the actual performance, when the success or otherwise of the production is ascertained by the extent of the applause which follows the last line. When making up, an actress regards it as a sign that she wins receive a good contract if she accidentally smears some lipstick on to her teeth. 

If an actor or actress notices a loose thread of cotton clinging to a person's clothes, be or she will pluck off the thread, pass it three times round the head and then tuck it down the neck of his or her garments. The cotton foretells a new contract and the magical rite is said to ensure its receipt.

To whistle in the dressing room or backstage is bad luck. If somebody does it, they must go out of the dressing-room, turn round three times and then knock on the door and ask for permission to be admitted. This originated because backstage crew members were often recruited from the navy because sailors were good at handling the ropes that were used to raise and lower the scenery. The director would often whistle for scene changes. Any actor whistling backstage could inadvertently cause a scene change.

All manner of dolls and mascots are kept in an actress's dressing room in order to bring her success, while every telegram of congratulation is pinned to the wall and dearly treasured.

Actors never wish each other, good luck before a performance as it might have the opposite effect. It's safer to tell an actor heading for the stage to, break a leg, knock 'em dead, or see you on the green.

If an actress receives flowers as a present, she may wear them before or after the performance, but considers it to be very unlucky to wear them when she is actually on the stage. Artificial ones are generally used instead.

The play Macbeth is considered the unluckiest play in theatre. It is such bad luck that actors don't like to mention the title. They refer to it as The Scottish Play or Mr. and Mrs. M or That Play.


Gargoyles -- Possibly a species of pygmy domesticated dragon, gargoyles actually cannot fly but are extremely agile and able to leap great distances, which may give them the illusion of flight. In fact, their movement is very similar to a monkey swinging through a jungle canopy. While not aquatic in makeup, they are efficient and excellent swimmers

Only active at night, the gargoyle has adapted itself to remaining still for long periods of time so as to better guard the buildings on which it perches. With a stony skin that mimics brick and plaster, gargoyles are not affixed to building tops, but grip hold of them with incredible strength. Even though there may appear to be many gargoyles on a rooftop, only one will be a living creature.

They always look for the highest roosts possible, usually on cathedrals, skyscrapers or other tall buildings. It is believed they absorb their nutrients from rainwater through their porous skin. They become quite active during storms, especially if they have been dormant for an extended period of time. However, if struck by lightning, they become instantly petrified and fall to the ground where their body shatters upon impact.

-- submitted by Kathleen Frasier - from Arthur Spiderwick's Field Guide. Everyone should have one!


The Roman Goddess of Love 'Aprilis' was honored when naming the month of 'April'. As part of the seasonal calendar April is the time of the 'Growing Moon' according to Pagan beliefs and the period described as the 'Moon of the Red Grass Appearing' by Black Elk (Black Elk Speaks, Neihardt). It is also the last month of 'Imbolc', before 'Beltaine'. Mark, of the gospels, features as a strong influence within the early Celtic church at this time of year (see February introduction). The need to toil the land, to work to achieve the ends is further symbolized by his work, that of spreading the news of the gospels and in the significance of the pilgrimage, the journey to achieve enlightenment. Early pilgrims were influenced by the laws of nature, in a similar way to the pre-Christians belief and practice of ritual and folklore related to nature, reading the actions of animals to lead them to a place of rest. Most important in this month are the cattle or oxen, the deer or stag, and of course the ram (Aries). The spirit was believed to be renewed in this month and therefore there was a need to let go of unnecessary worries and focus on the purpose, the commitment of faith and practice, to resurrect the slumbering energies if the months ahead were to be of service to the deities and God.

'Brigid' (1 February) and 'Columcille' (7 June) were joint protectors of cattle and it was practice at this time to hope that the protection asked for during the period of Samhain had been granted and that the cattle would be healthy, so ensuring that when winter returned meat would be plentiful providing strength in the months of darkness (Samhain and Imbolc):

'Everything within my dwelling or in my possession,
All kine and crops, all flocks and corn,
From Hallow Eve to Beltane Eve.' 'When April blows her horn (thunder)
it's good for hay and corn.'

In Celtic tradition, the night of April 30 was thought of as the darkest of the year, when witches flew to frighten, spawning evil throughout the land.  In response, people pounded on kettles, slammed doors, cracked whips, rang church bells and made all the noise they could to scare off the corruption they imagined to be moving on the moist air.  They lit bonfires and torches and witch- proofed their houses with spring boughs.  Such vigils were kept throughout the night until the rising of the May-dawn." (  --submitted by Mary Colleen McAndrews

by Ernestine Northover

Honeysuckle cascading along the garden wall,
Bees hum, and insects everywhere abound,
The cuckoo sends us all his two-note call,
So many voices in one glorious sound.

April showers glinting, on soft new born shoots,
Daffodils of yellow, shine so ultra bright,
Down river, paddling, come the aquatic coots,
Plumage black, bills of white, and a fork tailed kite,

Swoops down, and with this long wings soars again,
And with no backward glance, gives his farewell,
Listen to April, hear now how it sings,
A wondrous month, wherein the heart can dwell.

--submitted by Cara A Thompson


April Rain
by Ernestine Mathilde Blind

The April rain, the April rain,
Comes slanting down in fitful showers,
Then from the furrow shoots the grain,
And banks are fledged with nestling flowers;
And in grey shaw and woodland bowers
The cuckoo through the April rain
Calls once again.

The April sun, the April sun,
Glints through the rain in fitful splendour,
And in grey shaw and woodland dun
The little leaves spring forth and tender
Their infant hands, yet weak and slender,
For warmth towards the April sun,
One after one.

And between shower and shine hath birth
The rainbow's evanescent glory;
Heaven's light that breaks on mists of earth!
Frail symbol of our human story,
It flowers through showers where, looming hoary,
The rain-clouds flash with April mirth,
Like Life on earth.

--submitted by Deirdre Callihan

by Sare Teasdale

The roofs are shining from the rain,
The sparrows twitter as they fly,
And with a windy April grace
The little clouds go by.

Yet the backyards are bare and brown
With only one unchanging tree--
I could not be so sure of Spring
Save that it sings in me.

--submitted by Mary Colleen McAndrews

Sakura, Sakura
by Unknown

Noyamamo satomo
Miwatasu kagiri.
Kasumi-ka kumo-ka.... asahi-ni niou
Sakura, Sakura,

Cherry Blossoms, cherry blossoms. 
On mountains, in villages. 
As far as you can see. 
They look like fog or clouds.They are fragrant in the morning sun. 
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms.  
In full bloom."

--submitted by Iwakura Sachiko

by Sare V.W. Lachicotte

In the garden
Tulips grow
Straight and golden
In a row.
Each one holds its
Empty cup
Drinking rain and
Sunshine up.

--submitted by Deirdre Callihan

Did You Know?

The Black Stone - At the heart of Mecca, near the center of the court of the Great Mosque, is a small granite and marble shrine called the Kaaba, which Muslims consider the most sacred place on earth. The word Kaaba literally means 'cube', a shape that represents the three dimensions of space: height, width and depth. According to the teachings of the Koran, the Kaaba was first constructed by Abraham and his son Ishmael around a large reddish-brown rock called the Black Stone. This was given to them by the archangel Gabriel to become the cornerstone of a temple. Possibly meteoric in origin, the Black Stone is now encased in a larger silver band and embedded in the exterior wall of the Kaaba at its eastern corner. Although Mecca has been rebuilt many times, the Black Stone has always remained intact in the wall of the shrine. For Muslins, the Black Stone is 'the right hand of God' on earth. It is kissed or touched by pilgrims at the beginning of the tawaf, the ritual of walking around the Kaaba seven times as Muhammad is thought to have done in A.D. 630 when he rededicated the site to Allah. It was Muhammad, too, who formalized the tradition of the hajj (pilgrimage) to Mecca, which all Muslims must make once in their lifetime. But he did not originate this idea; Mecca had been a place of pilgrimage since Abraham's day. The marble shrine itself is rectangular, measuring 39 feet long, 33 feet wide and 49 feet deep. Because it is intended to house the divine presence, its only furnishings are the three tall pillars that support the roof and several hanging lamps made out of gold and silver. The present building dates from the 17th century, but the Saudi government made repairs to its walks and roof. According to one Muslin sect, the Sufis, the Kaaba is the home of the soul, just as the heart may be thought of as the home of the soul within the body. The pilgrims themselves symbolize the blood of the world flowing around it spiritual heart. This heart is Mecca.

King Stones - Celtic Kings were once inaugurated standing or sitting upon sacred stones used only for this ceremonial purpose. Known as king stones, these stones may have symbolized the sacred marriage of he king to the earth goddess. For example, at Tullahoe, Ireland, which was the capital of Tyrone in medieval times, a stone throne was formed by placing three slabs against a boulder. The throne was used as the seat of many of Ireland's kings in the Middle Ages, but was finally destroyed by the English in 1602. The most famous coronation stone in ancient Ireland, upon which the kings of that county were inaugurated, was the Lia Fail, which means 'Stone of Destiny', in the hill of Tara. In a clear expression of the magical power of the king stone, the Lia Fail, so legend claimed, cried out at the moment the true king of Ireland was crowned. In most of the ancient inauguration ceremonies that used a stone, the king-to-be either sat upon the stone or made close contact with it with his bare hands or feet. According to ancient beliefs, this contact enabled the earth currents to flow through his body, 'charging' him with the special energies and vitality needed to exercise his unique powers as a representative of the gods upon earth.

The Legend of King Arthur - The idea of the king stone is also alluded to the story of King Arthur. For centuries past, his story has fascinated writers and historians. As a result, considerable myth and legend now surround this Celtic King - Arthur has even been described as 'the sovereign of the western medieval world.' Arthur legend recounts, was the son of Ygerene, the duchess of Cornwall and Uther Pendragon, king of the British. Arthur succeeded to the throne at the age of 15, but he first had to prove his right to the kingship. He did this by drawing the magical sword Excalibur from a sacred stone in which it was embedded. The stone stood in the courtyard of a chapel in London. On the stone were apparently inscribed the words: 'Whoso pulleth this sword from this stone is rightfully born King of all England.' Although many sought to extract the magical sword, only Arthur succeeded. -- submitted by Samantha Golden (taken from Earth's Mysterious Places, Reader's Digest)


Honey Spiced Rubbed Pork Tenderloin

1 lb pork tenderloin * 1/4 cup tomato ketchup * 1 tsp chili powder * 1 tsp garlic powder * 1 tsp dry mustard * 1/2 tsp paprika * 1/4 tsp dried thyme * 1 tbsp honey

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Brush meat with 2 tbsp of ketchup. Mix dry ingredients, rub onto meat. Place in baking pan. Mix remaining 2 tbsp ketchup and honey, set aside. Bake 15 minutes, brush with ketchup/honey mixture. Bake an additional 10 minutes or until cooked through [ 160 degrees internal temperature ]. Remove meat from oven, cover with foil and let stand 5 minutes before slicing. -- submitted by Cara A Thompson


Quick Maple Upside-Down Pudding

1 cup maple syrup * 2 tsp baking powder * 1 tablespoon butter or margarine * 1/4 tsp salt 3 tablespoons brown (or maple) sugar * 1 cup sifted flour * 1 egg * 1/2 cup milk

Heat maple syrup to boiling and pour into bottom of buttered baking dish. Cream shortening, add sugar, cream together until fluffy. Sift flour, baking powder, salt, and add alternately with milk in small amounts beating well. Pour batter into hot syrup and bake in hot (420°) oven for 25 minutes, turn upside-down onto serving plate, garnish with chopped nuts, whipped cream. Or serve like a pudding in bowls with nuts and plain cream to pour on it. Serves four. -- submitted by Feather (kstrom.netrecipes.html)

Roasted Red Potatoes with Bacon and Cheese

1/2 cup Light Ranch dressing * 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese * 1/2 cup bacon bits * 2 lbs. small red potatoes, quartered * 1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix dressing, cheese and bacon bits in large bowl. Add potatoes and toss lightly. Spoon into lightly greased 13 x 9 baking dish and cover with foil. Bake 40 minutes. Remove foil, bake an additional 15 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Sprinkle with parsley and serve. -- submitted by Cara A Thompson

County Cork Irish Stew Recipe

8 small lamb chops * Salt and pepper to taste * 1 Tbs. vegetable oil * Parsley, bay leaves, thyme, rosemary * 1 lb. potatoes (3 to 4 medium) * 2 C. finely shredded cabbage * 1 medium onion, chopped * 1 large leek, sliced thin * 12 small white onions * 1-1/2 C. diced celery * 1-1/2 C. peas * Fresh chopped parsley

Season chops with salt and pepper. Heat oil in saucepan wide enough to hold all chops in a single layer. Brown on both sides. Spoon off any melted fat and add enough water to cover chops. Bring to a boil and add parsley, bay leaf, peppercorns, thyme and rosemary enclosed in cheesecloth. Lower heat and simmer. Meanwhile, peel potatoes and shape into bite sized rounds. Chop trimmings from potatoes into small pieces. Add potatoes, trimmings, cabbage, onion, well-rinsed leek, white onions and celery to chops and liquid. Simmer 20 minutes then add peas. Add a little more water if needed during cooking.. Simmer 10 minutes more or until potatoes are tender. Correct seasoning. Garnish with parsley and serve. -- submitted by Sarah McDonough (

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```*+*```+```*+*```   Yearly Horoscope ```*+*```+```*+*```

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)

In January, September and November of this year the greater benefic Jupiter forms a helpful angle to Saturn. This time can assist your levels of creativity and give you the ability to carry things through to conclusion. You will be amazed at how productive you can be and this may involve contact with people from other countries. A long distance trip taken during this time will bring enormous success and give you a secure sense of financial stability.

In March, May and November Jupiter makes a helpful link to Uranus. You may find your social scene expanding in various exciting ways during this time. You are likely to meet the rich and famous of the world and they will introduce you to new dimensions of living that you have never explored before. Make the most of this auspicious time to enlarge your horizons and do things you have never done before.

In November Saturn opposes Uranus and this may prove to be the most difficult month to endure. There may be some complications involving a child or your lover. Take care not to get involved in any unnecessary controversy or conflict with these people. Something totally unexpected may crop up that creates a confrontation that will be quite difficult to deal with and resolve amicably. A friendship may go through a trying time or end altogether.

During the next twelve months the ‘greater benefic’ Jupiter, will occupy your sector of travel, higher education, studies and connections to foreign people or places and will go into retrograde (backwards) phase for five months between May and early September. The desire to travel and expand your views of the world will be heightened like you have never known before. Use this time to get a different perspective on life or to learn about other cultures, lifestyles and philosophies. You could also enroll in a place of higher learning to aid your career later in life.

Saturn the taskmaster of the zodiac will continue to occupy your sector of romance, children, creativity, speculation and the pleasures of life, up until November of next year. Saturn however, will be in retrograde motion (backwards) between January and April. These areas may be productive of onerous obligations and duties that seem to wear you down. Your level of creativity may be at an all time low, so pace yourself accordingly. While in the retrograde phase this can seem particularly depressive, though it can give you a second chance to become more aware of what your real responsibilities are. During the direct phase of this planet (between May and the end of the year) you will be able to do what you have to do with more of a smile on your face.

Uranus, the planet of change, will continue to occupy your sector of friends, hopes, wishes and any groups or committees that you belong to, during which time he will be in retrograde phase between late June and late November. This long range transit can bring you in touch with people who are different in terms of what is considered ‘normal’. These people often occupy positions that are unusual or do not work the nine to five drill, such as astronauts, aviators, astrologers and people in television. During the retrograde phase you will notice that your friends have changed or that you are moving into very different circles. During the direct phase (January to June and again late November to June of next year) you will become enlightened by these people and the radical difference they have made to your life.

Neptune the planet of mystery, will continue to occupy your sector of career, status, your position in the eyes of others and how you are seen by the world, though will go into retrograde (backwards) phase between late May and up to the end of October 2008. You may decide to follow a career path in music, the arts, or even psychic phenomena. During the retrograde phase you can reflect and go inwards to observe the different way you are perceived by others. During the direct phase (January to May and November to December) you will instinctually know that you have found your niche in life and can follow your calling to achieve your dreams.

Pluto, the transformer of the zodiac will now occupy your sector of travel, higher education, studies and connections to foreign people or places (with the exception of a retrograde phase back into your sector of wills, legacies, the goods of the deceased, loans, your partner’s income or any other shared resource between mid June and late November). Your aims and actions in these departments of your life can bring transformative conditions. You could totally alter your belief systems. This influence has been operating for many years and will continue up until late this year. During the retrograde phase you may discover some deep and profound reasons for your life and perhaps even consider living in another country. During the direct phase (January to March and again from September to the end of the year) you will come to realize what truly works for you in terms of your religious and spiritual beliefs and your destiny.  -- submitted by Sassy Golden:

Thoughts for the Month

"Sweet April showers do spring May flowers." -   Thomas Tusser, A Hundred Good Points of Husbandry, 1557

"I love spring anywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden." - Ruth Stout

-- submitted by Sara Devonshire


Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Noah who?
Noah body . . . April Fool's!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Noah who?
Noah fooling this time . . . it's really me!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Noah. Noah who?
Noah something?
It's still April Fool's!

-- submitted by Lei McAndrews


Spring Scented and Hued Candles -  honeysuckle in yellow, lavender in violet are specially priced for the spring. Fill your home with these invigorating scents for a good uplift. Ask for Kathleen Frasier or Samantha Golden at the Candle Shop.

Spring Specials - Baby red roses and multicolored carnations, at Lisette's Floral Shop. Wedding bouquets, anniversaries or any occasion.

Benzaiten Imports - receives new shipments weekly. Special this month: Fine All varieties of vases, from all over the world. Hours are from 9:00 am to dusk.  Located in the warehouse district. Owners:  Alexander McDonough and Garath MacShire.

The Needle and Spool Clothier -  All green pre-made attire, is half off.  Any orders for ball gowns and tailored suits must be received, no later, than two weeks in advanced.

The BookStop -  Gardening books 25% - 50% off.  Do-it-yourself books also on sale.

Heathfield Orphanage - Gifts, food,  spring and summer clothing and monetary offerings are greatly appreciated. Books in good shape are needed.  Inquire with Henna Barrett Suex with any questions.

McKnight Veterinary Clinic - at the McKnight estate in Heathfield. Donovan McKnight, DVM. We are trained in the treatment and care of all domestic and most exotic animals.  The estates are located just outside of Heathfield near Barrington Hospital.  Emergency care 24 hours a day.  Specials this month:  Flea treatments.

Certain Somethings Shop - Special this month:  Spring hats and shawls.  New items arriving every week.. Our items are made by artisans from the Realms and we also carry imported items.  Hours are from nine until four.

Herbal Delights Apothecary - located in Barrington Hospital, has teas and tinctures available to fight off all manner of ailments. Special this month:  Tinctures and teas to drink spring allergies..  Hours are from 9:00 am to dusk, with special openings as needed.

Sweet and Sassy Candy Shop - located just off the marketplace is having specials on chocolate Easter Rabbits and Ducks. Haypenny candy available.

Leather Shop -  Leather boots 50% off.

Deli Delights - Bring your sweetheart in for a slice of pie. Two for the price of one when you mention this ad. Kizzie Cohen

Butcher Shop - Order your Easter hams now, and get a free Cornish hen. Open from Monday to Saturday from 9am til dusk. Ask for Ham Frasier.

Ceol m'anama (Music is my soul) Music shop - Carrying musical instruments, sheet music and more.  Special this month, wind instruments. See Lorelei Barre.

Blue Marlin Inn and Tavern - is running a special on ham dinners throughout this whole month. Reduce rate includes a tankard of ale or a glass of wine. Marlana Cherill proprietor.

The Clean Slate Soap Shop - Grand Opening: is now open for business!!  Buy four soaps and get a fifth for free.  Bulk teas, home made essential oils, body sprays and bath products also sold.  Stop by in the first month and have a free cup of tea.  Hours are from 10am to dusk..


Lost And Found
~ Of all the things I've lost in life .... I miss my mind the most ~

Lost: Wool knit Irish cap, night of the Toboggan Run. If found please return it to Rhett Shawnesey.

Job Finder

Contact Draven MacShire for: Chimney Sweeps. Cobbler store position available. Beauty Salon available. Chiropractor needed to set up shop. Martial Arts Instructor needed. Dentist needed to set up office. Barber Shop available. Zoo Keeper for upcoming zoo. Men's Tailor needed.

Thanks to Job finder: Many positions are found every day from sailors and dock workers to shops and streamlined services.

??? Question Corner ???

1. If a friend were almost always late, would you resent it or simply allow for it? Can you be counted on to be on time?

2. When did you last yell at someone? Why? Did you later regret it?

**If you would like to reply to any of these questions and have it published in next month's issue, please submit the question with your answer to Lahoneee.**

Where To Find It - Services Offered

Want to better your business?    Place a listing here!

Flowers - Lisette McTiel Frasier, Heathfield Commons.
Lumber - Jon McAndrews Lumber Mill, Ballicastle.
Wines - Mike McAndrews Vineyards, Heathfield;  Darren McCullen Vineyards, Ballicastle.

Leather, Beef, Horses - Maurice, Joseph and Rory McDonough, McDonough Ranch Heathfield.
Wool, Yarn & Cloth - McCormick Sheep Ranch, Heathfield.
Cider, Flour, Grains, Apples, Milk, Eggs, Vegetables - Draven MacShire, Ravanna of Heathfield.
Potcheen - Sean DeBurgh, Rhett Shawnesey, Dunshire of Heathfield.
Baked Goods - Teri's Sweets Shoppe, Ballicastle.
Shipping, Trips by Sea - Rhett Shawnesey, Dunshire, or Bovee Shipping, Heathfield.
  - Meadowland Kennels, Patrick and Edward McAndrews, Ballicastle.
Pottery  - Devon DeWinter, Heathfield.
Shipwrights  - Collin McAndrews and Thomas Douglas, Heathfield Port.
Exotic Imports - Xandar McDonough and Garath MacShire, Heathfield Port.
Linen and Lingerie - Marcy McGuire, Heathfield Commons.
Candles and Crystals - Kathleen Cleary Frasier and Samantha Golden, Heathfield Commons.
Tea House - Iwakura Sachiko, Heathfield Commons.
Fortune Teller - Mikhail O'Connell, Heathfield Commons.
Barrington Hospital - Gates Barrington, Sara Devonshire, Heathfield.
Clocks - Aleric and Niklas Traugott, Heathfield Commons.
Blacksmiths; Horse Shoeing, Swords, Daggers - Lochlan Kearney, Ballicastle; Brian McAndrews, Heathfield Commons.
Leatherwork and Sheaths - Moncha McAndrews, Heathfield Commons.
Surveyor - Robert Frasier, Ballicastle.
Herbs Shop - Sara Devonshire, Barrington Hospital Lobby.
Book Shop - Mariah and Carissa McCormick, Heathfield Commons.
Orphanage - Henna Barrett Suex, Heathfield.
Apothecary - Sara Devonshire, Heathfield Hospital.
Raw Ores - Joseph McAndrews, Ballicastle.
Smelter - Eddie McAndrews, Ballicastle.
Private Investigators - Joseph McDonough, Jacob Anderson, Mercy LaCorte and Clark Davis, Heathfield.
Furniture - Sean MacGrath.
Veterinarians - Donovan McKnight.
Frasier Signs - Kyle Frasier, Heathfield Commons and Ballicastle.
Sweet and Sassy Candy Shop- Carienn and Corina Turlough, Heathfield Commons.
Certain Somethings Shop - Sorcha Beirne, Heathfield Commons.
Leather Goods:  Jaelysa
Dairy Products: NorthStar Dairy run by Allan Cleary
Glass Maker: Isolde Fitzpatrick, Heathfield Commons
Blue Marlin Inn and Tavern: Marlana Cherill Proprietor, Barrett's Bay
Ceol m'anama (Music is my soul) Music Shop: Lorelei Barre, Heathfield Commons
Bowyer: Fearghus Frasier
Soaps: Clean Slate - Morgan and Aislinn Murray, Heathfield Commons
Clergy/priest: Brother Thomas, Heathfield Castle Chapel
Dance Instructor: Anneliese Harpe, Heathfield Commons

Many thanks to those who contribute to this newspaper. Any additions, corrections or wishing to run an ad please contact Lahoneee.

Gossip from the Wharf
"If you believe these - I have lands in Rhydin to sell you"
by The Wharf Crones - Matty and Pearl

All gossip that comes in through the port, and places least expected,  you can be sure that Matty and Pearl know every little tidbit and then some added. Embellishing is a way of life to make the tale far more colorful. If something is not certain nor clear, it is easy to fill in those gaps; there is nothing like assuming. They will make sure all gossip gets around come rain or shine and the sharing of a tea biscuit. There is a place for Drama Queens.

**There seems to be a stir in the elements of late and the arrival of competition! Pearl and I are very earthy, just get within ten feet and see how o'natural we are. Although men from these lands seem to prefer girlish flowery smelling women. We may go on a quest for soaps. Maybe the new shop has a bathing room to go with the bargain, try one out in a free bath. Trying to dip in the ocean at night, so no one sees the sight, has been far too cold for our liking so we've been waiting. We'll see what bartering we can devise.

**Is the soap lady making up special baskets for certain knights? We're in the know, err, want to know! Is she holding out on the wiz man? Is she making a list not just of soaps and checking it twice? I'll need a very large bar of soap, good reason to keep in mind as well as any of those handled sponges unless there's a man willing to get my back. Maybe she'll have a bargain there too? We can hope!

**The princess and her ladies have been keeping us quite busy. Pearl had to take a few pills to calm her down she's been getting so excited over the varying aspect of that group. First there is the dashing Lord that although older, seems to have his eye on the Princess herself, who seems oblivious. Maybe we can snatch him to ourselves before realization dawns.

**There are those handsome knights under this particular King that seem to draw bees to honey. Buzzzzzzz, there goes Pearl giggling again. We wonder what it would take to get under the stoic one's skin. The other rough round the edges certainly gets a certain lady riled. Could there be more, have they've gotten under each other's skin? A certain garden scene might have it so as there was steam rising and snow melting, we unfortunately couldn't see enough through the fog.

**This was the very same lady that was seen dancing with one of those devil Adonis under the moonlight in that very garden. The tavern's garden seems to be a favorite of hers, be it dancing or causing steam to rise. We're going to be visiting there more often! Maybe we can catch a wandering knight or Adonis.

**Comparing notes, we are finding this particular lady is one very busy lady. If not the tavern garden, there is the labyrinth to consider. We're sure we could get lost in too if a handsome, half naked knight would come to our rescue. Maybe cupid's crooked arrows can pierce a thick knightly hide and a stubborn lady's too? You go girl, you're an inspiration to both myself and Pearl. You give us ideas to work on. We're coming for you soon, have a cup of tea and work out some strategy.

**The newest one seems to have forgotten her boots. Was it a plan so she could be in the arms of that rough and ready one? Everyone got to see her carried from the port maybe the other certain lady has competition? We will be keeping our eye on that trio. We may even steal her new boots to see who else she can get to carry her. It might start a trend except for the gradually warming weather. Maybe barefoot would work then. All those little stones, my poor feet can't take it, please, please, someone give me a lift in their arms? Hmmm, I might have to shed a few pounds or give the one a hernia.

**The stoic knight has some friends and ooooo are they just as good looking. Something dreams are made of, day or night, inbetween scones and tea. So far no one is on their tail so we might well have a chance there. Unattached and looking for worldly women? Don't mind the package too much but what's inside. We'd be dedicated and keep you busy at night. There is a ball being planned, if only... I'll have to talk Pearl into that, she's more shy than I am. Rumor has it the knights need to dance with the single ones there. That could well play into talking Pearl into it. The Princess has extra gowns, I could borrow to to make into one, or three considering how skinny she is.

**All seems quiet on the lighthouse front but that fire seems to be burning brightly still. We might need to enlist the cliff climber to teach us how to scale tall buildings not that he'll know what we have in mind. Still, even if I couldn't get my girth up the side of a mole hill, the prospect of that hunk helping is well worth the effort.

**Rumor has it the Callihan lasses are looking for information on men. We have tons! They should come to us, open invitation.

**We haven't heard back on that little excursion to the Shell Islands. The Laird in the accompaniment of two ladies, although the one is young that hadn't stopped him before. Love knows no age limits as one of its qualifications. Once they are back we'll have the full scoop to share, we have our means or threats, we get the information needed in the least likely way. Will it be boom boom or herbalist? Can anyone land that tall handsome hunk? Only supporting idea is that his cousin fell so what seems impossible may not be.

**A rare sight has been the Duchess out at night and has one finally turned the head of a particular Adonis who swears to his bachelorhood? Could one land the forest man? Now there is an idea to put forth some challenges to the ladies of the lands. We'd have to come up with some prizes and a stipulation they leave one for me and Pearl. Ladies, and not so much ladies, unite!

**Another race sight was seeing the first knight from Ballicastle. Seems he's come out from a long hibernations and already charm oozing at least for one lady, she too coming from a long seclusion. Can anyone land the hubba hubba lumba jack? Or any of those fine brothers? How much is that doggie in the window or sing me a tune, tell me a tale, bard-man. How about that smooth talking Frenchman and a few others? Oh this idea might well work in setting up challenges.

**Will the Rom- Gypsy turned the head of the Knight-Blacksmith? Will the Captain turn the head of the Duke, can water and land meet in peace or like the great waves crashing against the cliffs? Are there ladies sneaking off into the night to places  unknown and will the knights be sent on their tails? Are their spankings ahead to be had? Has the heatbeat of the sands drawn the bowyer man? How about the Casino man, will any take bets on him? We want to know!

**Has beauty and the beast been resolved, will love conquer all? What was that beastie screech that sent chills down our spines the other night? Of course there are those favorite couples that have us heaving a long sigh making Pearl go cross-eyed. The Lady and the Heir, the Farmer takes a Wife, the Brothers Grim in duplicity sailing away with their loves into the sunset.

**Speaking of brothers, there are a few that have been wandering about and drawing attention. Does one of the sisters of another notable family have only interest in horses or would that extend to the eligible bachelors of racetrack owners? We'll have to bribe a few stable boys for information. Our hearts go out to the one brother that seems so lost, maybe a fine lass will come along and steer him back.

**On another note, will the firebird from another world now destroyed, draw women as moths to a flame? They're an odd lot but not one without hope! Perhaps the stable lass has her eye there instead. She's one we'll have to keep an eye on and well aware the quieter sisters might bring us the most entertainment. One of those sneak up from behind and win the day when concentration is elsewhere. It is said the more quiet ones are the dangerous ones. Quiet and deadly, sounds like something after a meal of beans and cornbread.

**Has the Forest King's familiar been dancing for a cause? Will he do the peacock strut or just bounce off the mine's walls in his new job? Will there be a hoard of Baudalaires in a year's time? We're not sure we want to know!

A stop in the Thistle by Pearl: Deciding to rest my feet after making a delivery, I stopped in the Thistle for a cup of tea and maybe a bit of gossip with Alex.  I found not only the handsome Traugott brothers there, but Miss Laura Cunningham, and two newcomers to the lands, Miss Anneliese Harper and Lady Emily Stewart.  Imagine my surprise when Matty turned up!  Miss Anne nearly brought Matty to tears with her resemblance to her long lost sister.  Is there love in the stars for the elder clockmaker and the new dance mistress?  Will matches be found for the Lady and the school teacher?  And don't think the younger of the brothers has missed our notice. Matty's determined to see each and every one walking down the aisle.  Maybe even ourselves!


500 Gold Coins Offered on Black Doom, Black Beard, Stirling Scourge each ... Dead or alive. If all are brought in, a bonus of 500 will be added making it 2000

Crimes:  Murder, Plundering and pillaging innocents, Thievery, Arson, Kidnapping, and Rape. Slavery.  Reward is high for any who brings these scoundrels to justice.


Wanted Alive: Two Highwaymen known as Murph and Billy. 50 Gold Coins Reward for information that leads to their whereabouts. 200 Gold Coins for their capture.

Crimes:  Thievery and harassment. 

((Disclaimer: any pictures used of actors/actresses is solely for how that fictional character may look, no claims made. This is a fictional newspaper created for entertainment in the role-playing world. Articles from books, websites, etc., are credited. If any author has a problem (as it is a form of advertisement for them) with their credited works being depicted, please contact me and they will be promptly removed.  Please put in the subject heading - Heathfield Gazette so I know it's not spam.))

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